4/21/2006

Five and Counting...

I had a difficult time thinking of something to give my wife for our anniversary.

They say the traditional gift for a Fifth Anniversary is wood.

The jokes write themselves, folks.


Other great historical April 21sts:

*) Rosie Ruiz fakes winning/completing the Boston marathon (1980). Her husband would later comment that it should not have come as a surprise, since she fakes finishing all the time at home.

*) Rome was founded (753 B.C., by tradition). However, it was not built in a day.

*) The Red Baron was shot down (1918). Thankfully, his pizza lives on.

*) Elvis Aaron Presley gets his first #1 hit (1956). Thank you, Colonel Tom Parker.

*) Economist John Maynard Keynes died (1946). The cause of death was ruled to be cardial stagflation.


Seriously, I love you, Merseydotes. You have made these last five years the happiest of my life.

4/19/2006

But How Do The Carnival Guys Do It?

Parent Center has this handy child Height Predictor, which asks you for a few simple pieces of information about your child (sex, age, height and weight) and both parents (heights), then calculates an estimate of what your child's height will be at age eighteen.

I, of course, thought it would be fun to play around with their model and see what funky results I could get out of it.

If you have a 3-year boy, who is currently 5-feet tall, and weighs 98 pounds, with a mother who is 6' 1", and a father who is 4' 3", the model comes back with the following:

"We ran into a problem while running the calculation. Please make sure you filled in these fields correctly and try again:
Age (Our results show your child would be 9' 4".)"


Magnificent. What a family, eh? OK, let's keep the parents the same, but make our boy 3-feet tall adn 40 pounds.

The website replies "Your son will likely be 6 feet, 2 inches tall at age 18. This prediction is a "best guess" but it's still just that -- a guess. Based on the formula we used,* there's a 58 percent chance your son's full-grown height will be within 1 inch (above or below) of this prediction, an 85 percent chance it will be within 2 inches, and an 96 percent chance it will be within 3 inches."

Let's keep the boy the same, and make both parents 6' 2" (what the model predicted last time). I want to see if we keep the same predicted height, but perhaps improve our margin of error.

No! The 58, 85, and 96% figures and the predicted height all remain the same.

What if the parents were both diminuitive (4' 3" as the father in my first test)?

No change!!! Still a predicted 6' 2". So what in the hell do they need the parents' heights for?

The website explains:

"This method relies on where your son falls on the Centers for Disease Control's growth charts, and it assumes that he'll remain in the same percentile until he reaches his adult height. The accuracy of the prediction varies because some children will fall into different percentiles throughout childhood.

*Reference:The Multiplier Method for Prediction of Adult Height By Jonathan Paley, Jonathan Talor, Anna Levin, Anil Bhave, Dror Paley, and John E. Herzenberg Journal of Pediatric Orthopaedics, October 2004 "

Additional answers like in a press release from back in May of 2005 further detailing the methodology:

"For children under age 4, the improved tool uses the new "Multiplier Method," outlined in the October 2004 issue of The Journal of Pediatric Orthopedics, in which height forecasts are based on average height multipliers calculated from Centers for Disease Control data. For children ages 4 and older, the ParentCenter.com Height Predictor uses the widely accepted Khamis and Roche method that relies on height measurements of each parent for its predictions. ParentCenter.com is the first Web site to integrate the two leading methods into one easy-to-use tool. "

A Ha! So, if I move up to an 8-year old boy who is 3-feet tall and 40 lbs, with parents of 9'3" and 7'3", I should get a tall prediction if the "after 4" model is based solely on the parents.

The result?

"Your boy will likely be 5 feet, 10 inches at age 18. Young men often continue to grow a little past 18 until they reach 21, but their height at age 18 is very close to their final adult height. This prediction is a "best guess" but it's still just that -- a guess. Based on the formula we used* there is a 50 percent chance that your boy's full-grown height will be within 0.8 inches (above or below) of this prediction, and a 90 percent chance that it will be within 2.1 inches.

The fine print: Parents' heights are a good predictor of a child's adult height, but heredity only accounts for about 70 percent of what goes into deciding how tall someone will be. The other 30 percent comes from environmental factors, like eating habits (poor nutrition can "stunt" a child's growth) and exercise patterns (a competitive gymnast may not grow to her full potential).

Sometimes a child will surprise everyone and turn out much taller or shorter than either parent. This calculator can't account for that possibility. It also won't work well for children who 1) are exceptionally tall, 2) are already taller than both their parents, or 3) have a condition that affects their height, such as growth hormone deficiency. "

Raising the boy up 1-foot (to 4) and 10 lbs (to 50), holding age and parents' height the same, gives a prediction of 6'10". So the post-4 model must use both child and adult factors, while the model for the under 4 is based solely on the child.

Back to work.

4/06/2006

Mere Miracles

To: Alan Cooperman @ The Washington Post

It was with some interest I read your article on the new scientific explanation for the Biblical miracle of Jesus walking on water.

You may not be aware that I have proposed several theories which explain other mysteries of religion:

The secret of the miracle of the loaves and fishes was Supersized 'Filet-O'-Fish' Extra Value Meals.

The success of almost all of Hercules' labors was a direct result of steroid use.

Amd Gautama's escape from the law of karma to become the Buddha... Scientology.

4/03/2006

So Many Questions

I have a few questions about this article.




What kind of a name is "Sturt"?

If you were Florence Sturt's daughter, would you keep your maiden name, or take your husband's "Tarnutzer"?

When was the other time she was dealt a perfect cribbage hand?

Which Jack was she holding?

It took eleven days for the news of the perfect hand to reach the journalist?

What other news item was bumped from the day's paper so they could fit this in?

Jesus, it is 36 freakin' degrees there?! (kind of rhetorical)

Is the St. Ignace News really the "Upbuilder of the Home - Nourisher of the Community Spirit - Arts, Letters, and Sciences of the Common People."?

Will I remember four weeks from now to pay $5 for full access to the article?


And one final awesome note: This paper has an RSS feed.

Thanks to fark.com for the link.