New Year's Resignations
Who am I kidding? There is no way I am going to keep my resolution to "read more."
"Persian Fire": the book I picked up with a Christmas gift card, to feed my fascination with Themistocles, is sitting on the basement coffee table, slowly being buried by layers of magazines, coloring book pages, and TV Guides.
So rather than making a bunch of promises of the better person I am going to be this coming year, instead I will come to peace with some of the realities of this life.
SET FORTH ON THIS DAY, THE FIFTH OF JANUARY IN THE YEAR 2007. I AM HEREBY RESIGNED TO THE FACT:
That the chance I will ever host my own late night talk show, network or cable, is exceedingly slim.
That it is highly unlikely I will ever get a shot at the UFC title.
That there will probably never be that zombie invasion, and my years of preparations will be for naught.
That body hair has become significantly less attractive ever since Magnum P.I. went off the air.
That the sport I will almost certainly be eternally regarded as "best at" will be bowling.
I feel better, now that the burden of those expectations are mostly behind me. Now, back to organizing my Presidential Exploratory Committee.
"Persian Fire": the book I picked up with a Christmas gift card, to feed my fascination with Themistocles, is sitting on the basement coffee table, slowly being buried by layers of magazines, coloring book pages, and TV Guides.
So rather than making a bunch of promises of the better person I am going to be this coming year, instead I will come to peace with some of the realities of this life.
SET FORTH ON THIS DAY, THE FIFTH OF JANUARY IN THE YEAR 2007. I AM HEREBY RESIGNED TO THE FACT:
That the chance I will ever host my own late night talk show, network or cable, is exceedingly slim.
That it is highly unlikely I will ever get a shot at the UFC title.
That there will probably never be that zombie invasion, and my years of preparations will be for naught.
That body hair has become significantly less attractive ever since Magnum P.I. went off the air.
That the sport I will almost certainly be eternally regarded as "best at" will be bowling.
I feel better, now that the burden of those expectations are mostly behind me. Now, back to organizing my Presidential Exploratory Committee.
posted by B.V. at 1/05/2007
3 Comments:
Now, back to organizing my Presidential Exploratory Committee.
Fat chance, sucker, we know where all the bodies are buried.
I still think body hair is VERY attractive. Lucky for you. 8-)
Bite your tongue! (so to speak)
They're coming! The zombie apocalypse is closer than you might think!
P.S. I've got a GREAT idea for a talk show....
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